The International Chinese Communist Conspiracy

ChiComs are at it again.

They started back in the 1970s, when they started monkeying with the weather.  If you’re from Colorado, you remember the winter of 1983-1984–need I say more? Hurricanes started making landfall as far north as New York in 1986.

Global warming? Poppycock! You want a man-caused weather problem? ChiComs.

But enough about the weather– that’s so yesterday. Besides, the damage to the delicate climatological balance by those deranged Maoists has already been done.

But this time, they’ve gone too far. Now they are monkeying with time.

Remember how last Christmas only seemed to be about 2 weeks after the Christmas that preceded it? And, if that don’t beat all, it’s almost Christmas again! Hell, summer is over! It’s fucking Labor day (an International Communist Conspiracy holiday I might add).

Are you beginning to follow my drift?

The sheer gall that these Godless Communists show by fiddling with such things. I think their reasoning is that if they can properly distort history to further discredit Genesis. Oh the lengths to which those socialist monsters will go to prove their sick Darwinistic beliefs!

Not to mention the fact that they produce prodigious quantities of crap in their slave-labor camps that must be consumed in an ever more rapidly occurring cycle of holiday giving, or CrApple product releases.

Besides that they like fucking with us. Seriously. They could all fart at once and blow out every window on the west coast; but that would be too easy and they couldn’t deny it (not with the ensuing tsunami that would obliterate Hawaii). They want to keep us guessing.

Who else could be playing hide the pickle with time? The Ruskies? Why not? Who’s to say they haven’t been commie all alone? Were the Russians just lying low for a few years, so we’d get cocky, bloated and bogged down in a middle eastern debacle, so that they could re-emerge? Isn’t Putin trying to re-absorb the old Soviet republics? Ukraine anyone?

So much more easy to destroy the west when you can speed up time to deploy your troops and then– whammo! The First International is being sung by your kids at school, where they learn Marxism.

 

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